The Art Peace Experiment
We're two friends, Tasha and Briana, doing an experiment for 52 weeks, each making one tiny creative thing a week and sharing the fears, breakthroughs, and beauty along the way. Because we believe creativity isn’t just about what you make - it’s about remembering who you are. We'd love to have you join us!
The Art Peace Experiment
Week 17: Remembering What Lit You Up
Have you ever thought about the creative sparks that first lit you up as a child? In this episode, we reflect on childhood heroes, beloved stories, and the ways those early delights shaped our creative dreams. We also get real about the limiting beliefs that may have followed us into adulthood — like perfectionism or the feeling that we’re “not good enough.” Our hope is that this conversation invites you to remember what once made you feel alive, so you can let go of old expectations, lean into play, and reconnect with the creativity that still wants to shine through you today.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you know someone who needs this kind of gentle nudge, send it their way. The more kind, creative hearts in this space, the better.
And if something in this episode resonates or makes you smile, come say hi on Instagram @theartpeaceexperiment 🤍
Welcome to the Art Peace Experiment. We're your hosts, two artists and friends. I'm Tasha and I'm Brianna. At the end of 2024, we decided we wanted to cultivate more safety, peace, love, alignment, and excitement through our art and our art practices.
SPEAKER_02:So here we are, sharing our journey with you, and we're so excited you're here. We hope you enjoy our conversations. They're honest, raw, just two friends talking to each other about the realities of life and creativity. We're so excited for you to join us and be along with us for the journey.
SPEAKER_01:When I was young, I loved going to the library. Same. Me too.
SPEAKER_02:That was like my favorite place.
SPEAKER_01:Uh-huh. Yeah, I lived in this really small town and it had this teeny tiny little library. And I remember the kids section was uh kind of sectioned off by this like ponywall bookshelf. I don't know if it's called a pony wall when it's a bookshelf. One of the shorter ones. Yeah, you can kind of see over it, or at least, you know, the grown-ups could see over it. Right. Um, and they had this lazy Susan that sat on top of the ponywall bookshelf. And it was, it was just like this clear plastic, like three-tiered lazy Susan, and it was filled with these magical little mini white books that you might already know what I'm talking about. Beatrix Potter's stories. And I remember, I don't know if they were actually like pristine and new, but I felt like they were when I was young, like they just had this like new kind of like pristine white quality so that they still look glowing a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And I was absolutely enchanted by these books. I don't even know how old I was. I imagine I don't think I was reading yet. So I think I was just going and getting them and like discovering these little worlds of these little pictures, animals that were outfits, and it was so just darling, and it completely captured me. And I remember going back every single time to see like which new ones were there and which ones to discover. And like now as an adult, I don't have a lot of memories of what the stories were actually about.
SPEAKER_02:Like, I should go back and actually like reread these.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I want to do a Beatrix Potter like tea party with our kids. I think that would be like these so fun. Uh yeah, I love that. But it just I even though I don't really remember all of the stories and and everything that I read, which might also be because I didn't actually read them, I just looked at the pictures. Okay, that's fair. I've never actually put that together until just now. Um, but no, I just I was completely captivated and enchanted by these. And I every single time we went back to the library, I would run up to that lazy Susan and just like, you know, twirl it around and see if there were any new ones and get really excited if there were. And if there weren't, then it'd be like, okay, which ones am I gonna recheck out? Yeah, experience again. I just yeah, I just loved it and it's stuck with me all of these years. I mean, that was a long time ago.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Oh, I love that. No, that's so sweet. And it's fun to think back about when you were a kid and think back on what really captivated you. Yeah. What made you like really light up, right? And it does, it shapes you and it affects kind of the rest of your life, you know? Um, what what do you what do you see as like a connection from the Beatrix Potter and that experience? Like, what did that light up in you?
SPEAKER_01:Well, for the longest time, like ever since I was probably around that age, I said, I want to be a children's book author and illustrator. Like I wanna I wanna be like Beatrix Potter. I want to write the stories and I want to illustrate them, and I want to create these like magical worlds that people can just be delighted in and consumed in and just you know have that special like moment for them in creating that. Yeah, and it's interesting because as I've grown up, I realized that I I mean I always told myself, yeah, I want to, I want to illustrate children's books, I want to, that's what I want to do. And then I realized like that's just not the kind of art that I necessarily want to be making. Not that I have completely let go of that dream. Yeah, right. But I realized that the kind of art that I want to be making, like I don't want to be drawing little kids and like I can do a I can do a fingers, fairly realistic portrait of somebody, but if I try to like stylize it and make it feel like it should be in a kid's picture book, I just it loses so much joy for me. The art it just feels stressful. I don't like the way it turns out, it's not fun. Yeah. Um, but then the other the side of this, because I always told myself I'd be a picture book, you know, illustrator. But then I also always told myself that I would never be a watercolor artist. Which was, you know, her medium. She did, I mean, it was ink and watercolor, but um you know, I always told myself, like it's too hard, I can't do that. It's you know, not something that I will ever be good enough to even explore and try, which is insane. But it it's interesting because now that that is what I'm doing and I've been doing for the last several months through our experiment.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that's so interesting. I love that as a kid that experience and that joy from those from those books fostered that desire in you and that joy of creating and that desire to create and make the children's books, and that was something that you always kind of had and held. And then when you went for it, you were like, Oh, that's actually not maybe not for me, but it opened the door, right? Even though that's not necessarily what you're doing right now, maybe well in the future, you know, who knows? Who knows? But I first say never like the watercolor, but it opened up the door, it opened up the the creative spark, right? And the excitement, which you trying things led you to figure out right more of what you liked.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I think part of it too was that I at the time, like as a child, was fully okay with coming up with stories that didn't feel scary to me. But then I would pull out a little kid's watercolor set of really cheap paint with a terrible brush, with a terrible brush and printer paper. Yeah, yeah, and then I would be like, nah, can't watercolor. Like, I can't get the results that I yeah want.
SPEAKER_02:And then I think it doesn't look like yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And and you know, looking at it and then like, well, if I draw with a pencil or colored pencils or, you know, things that I'm used to, then it turns out more the way that I want. Yeah, you can control it a little bit more, right? Yeah, with the watercolors, it's like, well, I'm just terrible at this and I will never be able to. Right. And that started from you know, that childhood, that belief. And so I think I let go of the scary thing that I'm like, oh, I can't ever do that, and then held on to the other part of it. Of like, well, I can I can come up with stories. I can tell like I do that all the time when I play with my brothers and I, you know, friends. Like, I'm always telling stories and coming up with stories, and like that part isn't scary. Um, because I do that without even thinking sometimes, you know.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, that's such an interesting realization with the watercolor and the printer paper, and you know, that it it didn't turn out because those were terrible, terrible art supplies, like that wasn't, you know, you couldn't make it turn out because of the actual supplies, but internalizing that as like your ability that I wasn't able to do it because I'm not good enough to do it. Right. But when in reality it was it was m more to do with the with the resources that you had, right? And the the supplies that they just didn't they could not uh achieve the the look, right?
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_02:So that's that's interesting to realize too as you grow up. So having that block and then holding on to the part of part of that desire that you felt more confident in, right, and that you had proof that you could do and do well and and it was fun, you know? Yeah, and so leaning into that part uh and holding on to that.
SPEAKER_01:That's cool, yeah. But then it ended up also putting me a bit of in a bit of a box, yeah, because I was like, I was not drawing what excited me and what felt fun to me. I was like trying to force myself to remain in that childhood, like I don't know, box that I put myself in of and part of that was the the limiting beliefs that I had. It was like this is what you are capable of, this is what you can do instead of exploring other parts of it that excited me and finding what I actually liked and enjoyed.
SPEAKER_02:Those are really powerful realizations, and I feel like it takes a lot to get to that understanding, that level of understanding of your past and your childhood and how that kind of shaped everything, and then how it's come with you and how that's taken taken shape and how that's affected your actions and like what you believe about yourself. And I feel like that with our experiment that it is really what it's combating, yeah, you know, is those it's uh it's making us take a look. Yeah, being really real and honest, yeah, be honest and real with ourselves and and say, oh, this is how I'm actually feeling. And I'm I'm looking at it, and then you explore it a little bit more, and then let's try to let it go, you know. Yeah, and I we let that go.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think I would have had those realizations without this if we hadn't decided to, you know, be really real and honest and show up week after week after week.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because it takes being it takes being real with yourself, it takes being honest and actually taking a look in the mirror, right? You know, and like layers, it's so layered, like an onion, like an onion, not a cake.
SPEAKER_01:Everybody likes cake. That's right, or parfait, but you know. Yeah. Well, did you have any childhood heroes that like creative heroes? I don't mean, you know, your mom. As much as we love your mom, your mom is great.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, always mom. Um yeah, I mean, most of the most of the creative people um that I feel like inspired me were from books. We're were art either artists from books or or the writers. The stories were really what captivated me. My first, I remember when people asked me what I wanted to be, um, I my first thing that I told anybody, you know, when I was a kid was a writer. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write stories.
SPEAKER_01:Love it.
SPEAKER_02:And um, yeah, so there were, I mean, same with the children's books. I love to go to the library and just pull out, sit on the floor, pull out the books, look at them, you know, just spend, I could spend hours there. And it was so fun. And I had my favorites and I had my favorite section, you know. Yeah. Always wanted to go see like the fairy tales and magical things and fun, you know. Yeah that was really fun for me. Um, but I remember this one, this one book that we had, it was a Rapunzel um book, but it was like the illustrations were more of um kind of like Renaissance style. Oh, cool. Yeah, and it and so it was very, it was very different. Um, but it just it really captivated me. It was really interesting to me. And I would just kind of study, like look at it and study it, and it was like, wow. And um, and I think I don't know, just things like there are a few picture books that I remember that were really like this is the style that I really love to look look at, you know, and I would be pretty particular about yeah, about stories. Yeah. It had had to have good artwork that I liked. Otherwise, it was like, what's the point? Yeah. Right. So um, yeah, and then and then more as I got older, more of the chapter books and things like that and the storytelling, um, just the fun, the whimsical Gail Carson Levine with Elle Enchanted and that kind of vibe. That was my that was my bread and butter, Harry Potter, of course, like you know, all of those total fantasy favorite one of Gail Carson Levine.
SPEAKER_01:I'm pretty sure this is her, like the two two princesses of Mar. Yeah, that one, yeah, that's my favorite too. Loved that one so much. I didn't find Ella Enchanted until after the movie came out, I don't think. And then realized, like, oh, same author, and she has more books.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, she has a lot of books, all of her books. So good. So yeah, that was that was really fun. And and she wrote a a writing book as well that I got when I was older, and it was really fun, and so just all about the you know, just having fun with it and pretending and playing and you know, playing with with your ideas and letting letting loose. So that was really impactful for me, and I think that really helped. I mean, I I didn't really niche down into uh like painting until I was a teenager. Um so my childhood was very very like all of the crafts, all of the things, and you know, wide variety. Yeah. Um and yeah, anyway, so um I think that was that was a good foundation for creativity as a whole, you know. And and it's just through trying out different things that I've come to find more of what I actually really like for me, you know, and and what feels what feels like me. Um, I know that's been a struggle, that's been a struggle for me, is um wanting to just copy other people or feel like I have to do it, you know, I I see this way of doing things, and so that means that I have to do it this way, yeah. And and thinking outside, learning how to think outside of the box and think more creatively in my own way. That's that's a journey.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, for sure. And and that brings it back to, you know, when I was working on children's stories and the illustrations for them and feeling like I couldn't do the illustrations that I wanted to do because I was trying to be like the other illustrators that I enjoyed. And I never allowed myself the freedom to just do what I liked and what I enjoyed. And you can't really come up with your style and like let it just naturally evolve if you're not leaning into that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, if you're holding so tightly onto the outcome and so tightly onto being it having it be perfect, like this example that I have over here in this book. You know, I want it to be book worthy, illustration worthy. And so if it's not exactly like that, I feel like, you know, this plays into the perfectionism and and just holding so tightly onto onto that.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_02:Is it kind of kills the creativity because you get so discouraged, so discouraged and and down on yourself when you're comparing yourself to others or wanting it to, you know, wanting it to turn out exactly right and don't have that room for learning, yeah, and for met being messy, right?
SPEAKER_01:Right. It was interesting too, because a lot of the artists that had had these children's books that I really loved, they had full art careers doing other things. And then were like, you know what, I'm just gonna create this for me because this is fun. And so it it was influenced by a whole life of creating and making art and exploring and experimenting. And it wasn't just they sat down one day as like a child with no experience and created this beautiful masterpiece, right? Like it's there was so much more that went into it, and you know, comparing like where I was at with this finished product that I love was of so many that has years and years of experience, more experience was not serving me. Like one of the things that I loved learning about Beatrix Potter is that she did like scientific paintings. You know, she did this whole like encyclopedia of mushrooms, yeah. And just and they're beautiful, yeah. Like her scientific paintings are amazing, they're so good.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's interesting because that was very much the the acceptable thing of the time, right? That was how that was what was taught was more realistic nature, you know, um character, how do I say that? Caricatures. Yeah, thank you. You know, the animated like things like that were were not really a it wasn't really a thing, you know? She was very um ahead of her time. I love her so much, but yes, and so it's cool, yeah. It really is. It's so fascinating to see her journey. I have a book about Beatrix Potter. I love her too. It's great.
SPEAKER_01:I have borrowed that book. I maybe shouldn't remind you that I'm right.
SPEAKER_02:You still have it.
SPEAKER_01:I think yes, right. Well, I'm making my way through it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and so it's so it's so fascinating to see her journey of where it was like very prim and proper and yeah, acceptable of the time and what a lady should be doing.
SPEAKER_01:Still not for a woman. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And then she slowly just let go and did what she wanted to do. And let it be fun. And let it be fun for herself. And she got rejected so many times. Right. Oh my god. So many times. She went to, you know, she offered it her books to the publishers, and it was rejected like at least seven times, I feel. And so then she self-published. See, and she's like, all right, well, I love this and I want it, so I'm just gonna publish it. I'm gonna find a way. Yeah, and I feel like those are always the best and most successful projects, are the ones that the creators love themselves and have such a passion for and have and believe in it, and believe in it, and so much delight in it. Yeah, and that's what's that's what's contagious, yeah. That's why it it becomes successful, is because it's just so pure, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Well, I for one am really grateful she did that because it's impacted my entire life. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Can you imagine if if we didn't have Beatrix Potter, that would just, it would be so sad. So sad. Only her scientific mushrooms, which are, I mean, you know, that's great too. We know we wouldn't have known about Peter Rabbit, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Like they would have been lost in history. We wouldn't have known about them.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I'm so I'm so glad. Thank you for making Peter Rabbit. Appreciate you.
SPEAKER_02:Uh so it's such a good lesson to uh to come back around to think about our own creativity and our own uh creative desires and and yeah and figuring out what what lights us up. And I think that uh reflecting on our childhoods and what was impactful to us and what m brought us you know excitement and joy and made us feel alive, you know, and like ourselves. What were those things?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, before we were, you know, tied down to to expectations and society and you know, before we had to put ourselves in boxes to fit in, like what were the things that made us so excited?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. I think reflecting on that, it gives such an insight into ourselves and and that is what will help us moving forward to connect and align with ourselves, right? And to become more more of our true selves.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and ask like, are you still leaning into those things or have have they faded? Yeah, have they faded away? And what would happen if you tapped back into that? What happened?
SPEAKER_02:So maybe journal about that this week. Take a little time, yeah, just think about it, or journal, or maybe have a conversation with a friend. Or us. Come talk to us. We'd love that. Comment in the in the comments below and tell us what was something that you loved as a child that you're either, you know, still doing or or maybe let go of that you might want to get back into. And we'll see you next time. That's it for today, friend. Thanks for spending this time with us. We hope you're leaving with a little more light, a little more peace, and maybe even an edge to go be creative, just because it brings a little more joy to your life. If anything in this episode spoke to your heart, sparked a thought, or made you smile, we'd love it if you'd follow the show, leave a quick five star review, or share it with someone who might need a little creative encouragement too. And remember, your creativity matters. Your voice matters. You matter. We're cheering you on always. Until next time, keep making, keep softening, and keep showing up as your whole beautiful self.